Harsh

I saw an IM pop on the screen out of the corner of my eye.
I knew it would be you and I knew what you would say.
"Wow, that was pretty harsh" you said to me.
While I giggled with friends over wine...
Thinking we were so cute and clever
Trying to be cool and nonchalant.
No biggie to me, right?

"You are not worth the drama" was your response to my pleadign and begging to talk and work it out.
You were pissed and did not wanna listen and before you went away you said"Good games though".

I started to drink heavier, my giggles no longer so enthusiastic.
My mind clouded by merlot.
Unable to stop the nagging ache on my heart.

Fast forward 24 hours.
My heart leaped into an erratic dance when you popped up on my screen.
You asked how I was and I did not lie.
"Eh, I have been better"
"good"
Then you were gone again.

Tears leaked uncontrollably from my eyes.
Hating myself for fucking up so bad.
No girlfriends here tonight to giggle with over wine.
And slap each other high fives of delight.

Just me alone.
With my tears and merlot hangover.
Wishing I had not done what I did.
Having to go through you telling me....
"you are not worth the drama"
Cause you are right.....
Damn baby.....that was harsh.