Hate Speech

author's note: This poem was inspired by a recent Supreme Court decision giving the government the right to censor "hate speech."

I hate the bottoms
and I hate the tops;
I hate my professors
and I hate the cops.
I hate prissy bitches
and green-haired art cocks;
I hate coke-selling hippies
and retarded jocks.
I hate Hughes, Tan and Achebe,
and all their literary kin;
I hate that Gelding Manning
Sports Channel plus ESPN.
I hate the fools
and I hate the cons;
I hate the subs
and I hate the doms.
I hate brain-soap Clear Channel
and the sold-out 9-1-1 panel;
I hate taking-a-shit Bill,
and Bel-Air prince Will.
I hate Kerry, that liberal fool
and that mindless, jabbering, frat-boy tool.
I hate kittens
and I hate dogs;
I hate cattle
and I hate hogs.
I hate the golfing rich
with un-earned fat pockets;
I hate welfare Moms
and everything else in the projects.
I hate cheesy KRAFT foods,
and those easy DELL dudes;
I hate Philip Morris,
and those COORS fascists, too.
I hate all these pompous, scientific fools,
whose brains closely resemble their stools;
I hate these health nuts telling me what to do,
let them eat only seeds, nuts and fruits.
I hate the green, guillible many,
and their patch-work flag, too.
I hate hawkish tea-party women,
and I hate the insipid, semper-fi few.
I hate seran-wrap movie actors:
Clooney, Hanks and Pitt are a few;
I hate all the Fear Factors:
advertisers, audience and monkeys in suits.
But I seem to remember-
hush, I'm trying to think;
there was something I liked...
oh yeah it's me!