Have You Bleached Your Asshole

You may scratch your head
Or scratch you ass
While you ponder the goals
Of those legions of people
Who bleach their ass holes?
It started in Australia
So they say, by nude bathers disturbed
By the rude ring observed
No wonder they call it the
Land of down under

I never paid the slightest attention
To the color of an ass hole
I might have noticed if an ass had a mole
But that the ring was brown, I never told
Be the girls fat or lean, just let it be clean
For an hour, if not, time to shower

Some guy selling bathing suits
Suggested to me that the root
Of the matter was no less
Then one’s desire to look their best
But anal fucking does not start in the park
It usually finishes in some place dark
“No,” he insisted, “let me speak
My suits are so brief, if you lift an ass cheek
You will flub, if there is a ring around the tub”

“Oh well, I guess you will sell
Those suits and your advice to boot”
I suggested a suit with a flashlight
Actually an ass light
So the wearer might show off
What the designer considered coiffure
I might note the swimsuit designer
Considered it chic
To show off one’s prick
As if it was a rare jewel
Rather than a common tool

But I must be weak of mind
Because he convinced me and I went to find
A product at last to lighten my ass
But my scientific nature prevailed
And before this photographic procedure
I knelt and kneed there
Till the angle was grand
Then I did stand and observe the evidence
That magnified my ass hole at no expense
It looked five feet wide
And yes, one might discern
A ring of minor proportion
That a lifetime of toilet use did earn
And now a note of guilt, inspect
Did I not wipe correct?
Since, I have learned affectionatos discern
That a wet tissue or a packaged wipe
Is best to swipe any turgid residue of poo

So I began for two months to apply
A cream to my back side
The progress was slow to see
But eventually after two months, Eureka!
There was no ring to speak a
Word about and I had no need to shout
As my asshole told all about
The lovely nature many adore on their posterior

Anxious to show off my trophy
I headed to a nude beach on the coast-y
And positioned myself, legs spread real wide
So any onlooker might have spied
My ringless anus but to my surprise
The only comment was from some naked kid
With his mom who on passing my joy, said
The little boy, “ Hey Mom, I want some fried onion rings”
Ah, those are the things in whole
That tries men’s soul
For all my trouble, and the shaving of stubble
No one noticed my bliss,
Nor bent over to kiss
Alas, my ass

Let me bring this tale of my tail to an end
And I must say, my friend
That some dalliances though providing personal satisfaction
In the end do not necessarily separate the crude
From the cultured who bend
To offer you compliments like the guy in the gym
Who said, “Nice ass hole, would you let me fuck it sometime?”
Oh yes, that remark was sublime
Made me realize the worth of the birth of my ringless asshole
My two months to the day of bleaching away
God I wish I were gay!