Have you ever

I sit next to you and hear you speak
Agreeing, nodding, politely listening
But you’re talking about nothing, nonsense
“Ain’t this great weather we’re having?”
You look at me, “yeah,” I nod, smiling
A smile so bright it hurts my face
But when you turn your back it crumbles away
The pain inside hurts so bad I just want to scream
A lull in your conversation, a pause so brief
But surely enough to tell you what’s inside of me
“Have you ever,” I begin but you interrupt
To begin talking about Christmas trees and wreaths
But who really gives a fuck
The pain in my head won’t stop
The ache in my heart runs so deep
“Have you ever,” I scream at you with tears running down my face
You look at me bewildered as though just realizing I was there
“Have you ever,” I begin yet again,
“Taken too many pills at the end of the day
Hoping you won’t see the next
Cried yourself to sleep cause there was nobody there who cares
Have you ever taken a turn on a wet city street too fast
Hoping to lose control and crash?
Do you think,” I whisper now, tears all dried up and a fake smile on my face
“That it will make things better?
Will it subdue the pain, and make the ache go away?
Will it make you listen to what I have to say?