He Said

"I can take whatever you dish out"
But his eyes told me otherwise
Struggling to convince me
He wants to be bruised
He yearns to be punished
But I can't find it in my heart
To tarnish something so pure
So innocent, so wide-eyed
With a mouth so desperate
To speak all those filthy words
His body language says it all
He's eager to be controlled
He lusts to be guided roughly
He desires it all...
But I just can't do it.

His loud, ardent whimpers
His strident cries of submission
His hands grasping for my touch
Makes me lose it all too soon
Every time he bites his lip
I tremble inside a little bit
A sickening feeling takes over
"Does he actually want this?"
It hurts me more than it does him
But his eyes won't take "no" at all
His mouth is no different
That stubborn desperation's all the same.

I wonder if it's all just a test
To see how vulnerable I truly am
For my seemingly fragile darling boy
Who's not afraid to be chided and marked
His bitter mouth gets the better of him
And I have to dish out my own pain
That is his own pleasure:
Bruising him
Using him
Abusing him
He takes it all in stride
But it doesn't ease the hurt inside
His shrill whimpers and demands
Bring out the scared child in me
That I refused to show before

What I see now is my darling boy
Panting, a smile of foolish bliss
Red marks and bruises
Blurred by my stinging tears
I fall down hard on my knees
And cry like the big baby that I am
Until I feel his sturdy arms
Wrapped around my shoulders
With a tender kiss upon my cheek
And a voice sweetly whispering:
"I'm okay, and I've got you."