Hello Muddah'

(to the tune of Hello Muddah')

Dear Mr. and Mrs.
Frankenstein
did you think your daughter
would turn out fine?
She's made an A+
learning all your lessons.
Which we try to undo in
all our weekly sessions.

But two monsters
can't reproduce
A healthy, normal
well-adjusted youth.
Nor does raising
kids in haunted houses
by two immature and
selfish angry spouses.

Congratulations
are in order.
For royally
fucking
up your daughter.
Once again I'm out of tissues
because you as parents
have a lot of issues.

Hello muddah'
Hello faddah'
Sitting here with
a straight-jacket ona'.
I'm writing to you
from
Camp Insane.
If you don't believe me ask
the folks in my brain.

I remember
that day
we drove here.
I was so young
and so full of fear.
Stayed there too long
it became familiar.
So comfy I come back
to visit every year.

Hello Daddy
Hello Mommy
Hello stepdad
perverted Tommy.
We still suffer
for your sins.
It's quite obvious
considering the shape we're in.

Baby brother
turned to religion
Baby sister
got another fifth in.
And I guess I just can't
make a decision
About which twelve step group
that I would like to be in.

I think I've gone through
all the addictions.
All the self-loathing
and self-convictions.
None of it was
very exciting.
Which is the point of
this letter that I'm writing.

When I said I
wanted to be an orphan
I meant more like Annie
Not children
of the Co-rn.
I never did like
scary children.
Because they grow up
to become sinister villians.

I've tried so hard
to be a good girl.
To do what's right
and change the world.
But it seems that
I'm quite ill-fated
by the genetics and imprinting
that I was created.

I can tell you
It is my mission.
To stop the madness
and break tradition.
I will not be
like father and mother
to be so evil as to
hurt so many others.