hope and wish

and is it too much to ask
really, to just want
the world on a platter
to want the joy
to want the play
to want the nervous
anticipation waiting to see your face?

all I ever wanted, was everything
love and friends and desire and
warm embraces, soft lips
and stories of happy endings
with no time or consequence
to clutter things up

but hearts with attachments
cannot be so easily appeased
and shockwaves of doubt,
reason and responsibility
fester on even the brightest smile
and slowly pull the curtain on this
fantasy matinee

and for a while,
I come back to breathe
and settle back in to life
proud of decisions made
and dragons slayed

but when I look in your eyes
there is no defense
when I hear your laughter
and feel my pulse skip
when my skin tingles
when you just brush past
when desire and passion
overwhelm on a simple
flip of your hair
there is nowhere else to go

but truth and right
are still in exhausted battle
with hope and wish
and for the first time in my life
I want to destroy reason
and just follow this
old, battered heart.