- Erotic Poetry
- Hopelessly Mine
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Click hereagonizing is the wait
as thoughts erotic
blush your innocence
the edge so intense
fingers shake against
quivering flesh
trigger happy you cum
yet it serves no quench
no surrogate for my hands
a single drop of rain
into your parched soul
as need overtakes want
and you become
hopelessly Mine
- COMMENTS
The Mystery Valiantabout 18 years agoVery Good poem! But you left too much out. The sentences were missing vital verbs, adverbs and conjunctives. It left the poem rather hard to understand just what mattered most in this poem. You also wound up using tiny words where full-bodied words would make so much more of the illustrations. It would flow and expand so much of the imagery that was intended.
My Erotic Trailabout 18 years agoyour poems today were mentioned on the thread New Poems Reviews
