Hotel California

Disclaimer: thou must cleanse thyself in holy water before reading the following scummy, filthy, overall pathetic excuse for biblical satire.

Please to be noting: "he" refers to Satan; "He" refers to...the other guy.

"Welcome, well, to my hotel,"
said Satan to his guest.
As slow he rose and struck a pose,
donninghisSunday best.

Twin horns glowed red atop his head,
his body bore a cape
An impish grin, he showed some skin,
exposing his neck's nape.

His guest then watched; hand moved to crotch,
began to cop a feel,
Before proceeding, humbly heeding,
His master bade Him kneel.

Upon His knees, He aimed to please
His hot and hellish host
Ne'er before had He longed more
To be the servant to give most.

Satan, smirking, took to jerking -
- off, his cloak he took
His guest just gazed, impressed and dazed,
lending a lustful look.

He bade him bow, and then endow
his package with a prize
His steady hips touched luscious lips
mouth wide; He closed His eyes.

Submitting to sin, He took it all in,
throat feeding every part
with pleasure strong; He savored long
its juices, sweet and tart.

Then with his sigh, Hell gave a cry,
Igniting fiercest flame
With blazing speed, He wet the reed
until His master came.

The inferno risen; he'd made his decision,
he needed more than this
Not a sound, he grabbed Him from the ground
against the wall, he stole a kiss.

Their tongues, in mingling, took to tingling;
Satan's horns seared red
Unable to take it, he stripped his servant naked,
and slammed him upon the bed.

Desperately needing; for penetration pleading,
the servant sprawled out wide
Turned on his back, He groped His sack
while Satan forced his way inside.

Pounded into the sheet, He filled with a heat
as He'd never felt before
Once the master was done, he grabbed the Son
and thrust him upon the floor.

Still they did not linger, for Satan took a finger,
Stretching his self wide as he may
At the force of his request, his servant did what he knew best,
And as He entered, He began to pray.

Salvation on His side, He began to guide
His horny master to heavenly delight
The pleasure He provided by Heaven's laws abided;
proving the power of Divine Right.

Riding faster, He paid service to His master,
almighty was each thrust
Such godly pleasures he'd never treasured
and he rejoiced in newfound lust.

He let loose His load, then at last slowed,
pulling out from behind
Satan, now gratified, felt divinely satisfied;
He eased down as their bodies entwined.

Turning face-to-face, they shared in an embrace,
Satan stroking His long hair
He proceeded to question his partner's thoughts on the session,
Wondering aloud his feelings on the affair.

He sucked his lower lip; asked, "was this not a worthwhile trip?
Have the Southern regions treated you well?"
His mate replied, "I'd as soon as twice more died
than miss out on this journey to Hell."

They lay a moment longer, 'til their rationale was stronger,
At last their quenched libidos let them part
Satan walked Him to the gate, then with fervor did state:
"You've left a piece of Heaven upon my heart."

The departing guest then showed his breast,
Burned into it was a set of horns,
Stepping into the light, he bid him goodnight,
And affixed his crown of thorns.

After His leaving, Satan, grieving,
sat, brooding for a spell
Then with a crooked smile, he contrived awhile,
Waiting for thenextcaller to his hotel.