House of Goodbyes

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demure101
demure101
212 Followers

This is the end of my known world. I tried
to come this way before but never yet
succeeded. It's been worth it. There, beyond
this house of sweet goodbyes the landscape fades
to hazy blue and deep viridian
and every slow day starts and ends in mist.
Here on the porch it's good to sit and stare
and try to form an image of the road
you'd like to go from here – will you return
upon your steps or do you carry on
into the blue to meet those wayward others?
The house stands high upon the ridge, as old
and new as I'd expected, sturdy, cool
and quiet in the friendly mountain air,
its storerooms full of shelves that house the things
my predecessors didn't need to bring
upon their onward journey – pictures, books,
some clothes long out of fashion, well-used bags,
a warped guitar and notebooks with lost thoughts
and I just stand with nothing on my mind
but wondering what it is I'll leave behind.

demure101
demure101
212 Followers
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4 Comments
PiscatorPiscatorover 7 years ago

Following up gm's comments - well done. I especially like the title which echos Isabel Allende's great novel "House of Spirits."

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerover 7 years ago

I always marvel at your skillful use of blank verse, demure, the way you prolong the line and make it seemingly conversational.

There are layers of meaning here IMO, each with its own riches. The reading was spiritual for me, at least. We all go home, but never really can go home, except as a leg of the journey. "Here on the porch it's good to sit and stare/and try to form an image of the road/you'd like to go from here...." spoke volumes to me, perhaps because I'm in the same place I believe your narrator to be.

Using "house" as a verb in line 15 and "wondering" as a noun in the last line made me pause because I was viewing them both differently at first before realizing they're great examples of how you stretch language.

This may be because of my aging brain: You've written many wonderful poems on Literotica, but I can't recall one that has impressed me as much as this one.

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 7 years ago
Welcome back Dem!!!

After a loooong time !!!

There are layers of meaning to your poem , which can be interpreted in many ways.....i'll read , re-read many times and like GM come back with reaction ......till then again welcome back.

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerover 7 years ago

First impression, incredible, demure! Good to read you again. I need to study this more to get the full somber pleasure of your words. I'll be be back with a more detailed comment, but for now wonderful, simply wonderful.

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