How Bravely I Write

I really appreciate the poem and your comments. I was surprised that you felt the need to comment so deeply. I can honestly and proudly say that I understood what you were saying, the self depreciation, and the rabbits! I have been using the "extra" words myself to improve flow, (will you walk with me now in the evening) and I feel that they add - maybe quaintness? Anyway - it is an excellent poem, that I understood and enjoyed.

This is the first poem I have written from scratch since entering poems in Literotica. The others were written many years ago – I think as a way of grappling with a quite difficult situation at the time. I rewrote all of ‘People in books’ bar the first & last two lines – without changing the sense. Others I just tweaked.

These notes are quite long – why not? So first off, let me thank HarryHill & Lesse for their comments. I would love to hear from them what bits or aspects they think weak. I have got to the point where I cannot step back from the poem. Some of the redundant words are there to make it flow more smoothly (e.g. And then how pleased – where either the ‘and’ or the ‘then’ can be dropped without any loss of meaning but doing so seems very slightly awkward). I do not think I would want to drop any of the sense/ideas in the poem.

The poem was triggered by reading other people’s poems on Literotica – on old age, dementia etc. & thinking but those are the things that I (capital I) write about. Then I looked at my reaction & thought ... hmm. Bit of vanity there – by me & possibly others.

Vanity.

Jennifer Saunders (of Absolutely Fabulous) tells how as a small girl (say eleven) when she was riding her pony, she fantasised that a member of the British Olympic equestrian selection tem would see her on her pony & think ‘that pony has got to be in the team’. Then, of course, she Jennifer was the only one who could ride the pony, so she had to be on the team too. Probably ended up winning medals too, I imagine.

How many of us (i.e. am I the only one) when we first submitted on Literotica (stories or poems) thought either up front or somewhere in the dim recesses of our soul ‘when people read this, they will be so bowled over at just how overwhelmingly deep & wonderful it is that I end up publishing & winning prizes in the (real) outside world.’ OK - so I am the only one after all. I claim it was dim recesses.

Actually, I do think it was and is healthy to try to pin down those horrible things that do get us so scared – death, dementia, rejection, lack of self belief, etc. A way of facing these.

What is not good is our then thinking we are superior for doing so or that we have somehow ‘conquered’ these things. It is amazing how quickly we (or I) can go from being defeated to conceited.

So the poem. Where the rabbits came from I do not know but the poem would be nothing without them.

At first, the poem was ‘How bravely we’ but I decided to man up & change it to ‘I’. I wavered for a long time between ‘noble’ and ‘sombre’ towards the end. I was also surprisingly nervous that people would not realise I was mocking myself. Quite savagely really.

Yeah, I like this, too. I feel like this one has great potential with a few tweaks.

could loose a few words, don't particularly care for the title, but it has something. thank you.