- Illustrated Poetry
- I Dream of You
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
I couldn't decide whether this poem worked best when recited or as an illustrated poem, and in the end decided not to choose. If you like the poem, I'd appreciate hearing which one you like better, and any constructive criticism. Thanks for reading and listening.
* * * * *
Click Here to listen: .mp3 format or .ogg format. (1 min/mp3)
* * * * *
- COMMENTS
29wordsforsnowabout 3 years agoIt left me imaging the narrator deep night in bed with their significant other beside them, asleep, still busy surfing the web and the light of the device illuminating parts of the body lying next, not so well hidden by a light blanket. There seems to be a strong temptation to leave the keyboard and reach out...
Thanks for bringing up the hollow of the knee here, and less the 'usual' places of interest, such a sensitive, ticklish playground.
Technically:
I totally agree with Lyricalli. Unfortunately, technology took some of the beauty of your reciting when noise and sample rate took control of the recording. A headset can be a good choice, keeping the same distance between voice and microphone. Noise cancellation can be boon and bane here. I wouldn't use it while recording, but use a respective filter in the post-processing.
About the illustration: I would suggest not to use parts of pictures with high contrasts to put text on it, it gets hard to read. The last stanza works quite well in this way, but a few of the lines on the left are difficult to see. While the font is easy-to-read, I would recommend a less straight one, this one leaves, I don't know how to say this better, cool feeling. Separating text and graphic is, from my point of view, the best choice to cause the least distraction from each individual ingredient.
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoI think your poem is too "on-the-nose."
Too much imagery here and not enough context/action. Kind of stuffy.
