- Erotic Poetry
- I just can't help but to love when,
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I know I shouldn't, because this is wrong
But I can't help but love it when...
I love it when you kiss me
Our lips touch and sparks fly
Our tongues touch and I melt in your mouth
I can't breathe
You feel so good
You kiss my neck and I'm instantly wet
You and only you have this effect
My nipples harden under your touch
You bite
I moan
You lick
I cry out
You squeeze and suck
I die inside from wanting more
I want you
Your cock
I need it in my mouth
The perfect head
It tastes so good
Down my throat
I want your load
It's nice and hot
It coats my insides
It feels so good
Your fingers inside me
Deeper and harder
Harder and deeper
My body convulses
We lay
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 11 years agoI'm not a english speaker, but I can read pretty well. Beautiful is your text, I liked it so much!
Auridian
Corpse_riderover 12 years agoWriting about a sex act is fine, but you need to make it interesting to the reader. Writing a straight forward descriptive account is not stimulating to read. You need to use, metaphors or similes, describe what is happening emotionally as well as physically. You are near the mark with:
Our lips touch and sparks fly
Our tongues touch and I melt in your mouth
though the metaphors are a little cliched it is a least more interesting to read.
Could be good, but needs more work. Your use of rhythm, and the short lines work well with the theme of the poem.
