I Know

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I hurt
because
I know.

I know
you are
still
drawn to her.
I know
you are
with me
because
it's there.
I know
you are
with me
for the wrong
reasons.
I know you
will never
feel the way
I do.
I know it's
been too
easy for you.
It's been
incredibly
hard for me.
I know this
will
end soon.
I know
you feel
responsible
for me.
I know
you would
miss me
a bit,
until the
next one.
So, you see,
I know.
I wish I
did not
want you.
I wish I
did not
need you.
I wish I
did not
love you.
I wish I
did not
hurt
so damned much.
I wish I
had just
let it go.
I'm tired
of feeling
hopeless,
of wanting
to be enough,
of hoping
you would
love me
if only
just a little.
Right now
I feel
beaten down,
old and tired.
Usually I'm
not jealous.
It's because
I know
I can't
have you.
It's because
I know
you don't
love me.
It's because
I know
you are not
mine.
Not really.
It's because
I sense
your need,
still,
to have
others.
Even now.
Maybe
our time
is up
and we both
know it.
My heart
is yours
but maybe,
you should
just go.

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