I Tried Hard

I tried to stop thinking
about you for a second.

Looked about the room,
picked up his clothes,
read a story to my son,
and watched Stitch again.

I tried hard to remember
this is my life, right here.

Polished a table,
washed some dishes,
hung up pants,
sifted cat boxes.

I strained hard against it,
willed away that voice.

Started the car,
filled out a job app,
called a friend,
and read a book.

Every aching move I made
was a shadow of you.

Crawled into bed,
heard his breathing slow,
turned over with tears
spilling on my pillow.

I tried hard to forget
that this is who I am.