I trusted you

What are you wearing?
Will you moan for me?
Help me give myself pleasure,
Help me relive the stress of not having sex with my girl.
Your girl,
Something I am not ever going to be,
How dare you ask me such things?
You are my friend,
A friend whose wings are clipped for now,
Caged in a jaded relationship,
A relationship that you still wish to grow,
A Venus fly trap,
One that consumes all mirth,
Who is the one who holds the key to your heart?
Not I,
Not the one who listens to all your woes,
Who supports and respects you,
I long for you to love me,
It’s not fair for either of us,
In some odd way we are both suffering,
And yet I have to stay the same,
Still act content,
Never let you sense my pain,
Still be just your friend,
A fake friend,
I stay around only for the desire of having you,
Like a shark senses a bloody body,
I sense the end,
I hunt for it,
I ache for it,
For the chance to one day call you mine,
Have you say you love me,
Love ME,
Only me,
This is pathetic,
Why do I answer your constant calls?
Why do I feel special when you tell me that you talk to me more than her?
Why?
Why through all of this I can still feel love for another person?
Why does my love for him make you jealous?
I know you must feel pain,
But not the same as I feel for you,
“If I wasn’t with (whose name shall be concealed) I would be yours,”
“We both want the same thing,
Too bad I didn’t meet you before her,”
These words always set me into a spiral of confusion,
I lay in bed at night thinking about “what if?”
What if Kasey led me to you sooner?
What if you and I were lovers?
What a wonderful outcome that would have been,
Would have been,
This poem would have never been written,
Instead I would have spent this time to write about my new founded love,
A love that was never meant to be,
Well for now at least.