- Non-Erotic Poetry
- I Won't Cry
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It’s a hush now
or you’ll cry
slap her down
’til she’s dead inside
small, small world.
Whoever thought
the vibe would cage me
when I could easily step out
and set myself free
is in a small, small world.
Watch as I leap
over the moon
quick to escape
the glance of doom
off to explore
and shudder no more
in my neat, sweet world.
See ya!
- COMMENTS
Roberts_Petover 16 years agoI loved the transitions this poem had from the beginning to the end it told a story of self discovery and strength. I truly enjoyed your work, it was very well written and I look forward to reading some of your others.
WhiteWave48over 16 years agoPerhaps the first strophe repeats the words of the partner who is the oppressor - this is my reading of the poem. I see the woman convincing herself she is breaking free of his 'vibe'. A fascinating way to represent this situation. Perhaps a change in line breaks would shift the focus from the sudden rhyme at the end.
twelveooneover 16 years agoit looks and feels like three different poems, i.e. the person speaking is different in the first stanza, and it progrssively becomes more rhymed, these are not bad things, I just feel it could be a little more integrated.
LeBrozover 16 years agoFantastic — there's hidden strength in her and attitude. Don't count her down or out.
