- Non-Erotic Poetry
- I'd Never Make Love To A Jew
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Click hereA dark rewrite/parody of the Boyz To Men hit I'll Make Love To You
A young woman strikes back at an arranged marriage that she does not want.
So repulsed at the very thought
I close my eyes and blow out that Chanukkah candlelight
For no night is ever gonna be that night
Oh no I must confess
For the rest of my life
I'd rather be alone
Masturbating all by my lonesome self
All through the night then swallow their wine, light their fire
Jew, your wish could never be my command
God help me but I'd rather submit to a terrorist's rape demands
I won't do anything to you, so don't you even dare ask
Chorus
I'd never make love to a Jew
Not even if Christ himself ask me to
And you can call me whatever you like
Racist and uptight
But still I'd never make love to a Jew
Even if you paid me to
I would't be that low a ho
Oh no I'd much rather have my guts run through
Geez, people, relax
Don't threaten me with torture like that so slow
I ain't gonna be pimped out like some kind of unholy ho
I'm just gonna concentrate on gettin' my way out of here
So I'm not forced to do a Jew
Jesus, you can't be for real
I tell you now
It just would't be right
To spend that kind of sinful night
Throw my vomit on the floor
Trust me
They would throw up too
I'm making no plans to ever alone like that with a naked Jew
Jesus, no matter how often you ask
Know that there's somethings and some people I just can't do
I'd never make love to a Jew
Not even if Christ himself ask me to
And you can call me whatever you like
Racist and uptight
But still I'd never make love to a Jew
Even if you paid me to
I would't be that low a ho
Oh no I'd much rather have my guts run through
Baby tonight ain't gonna be our night
No night ever is
Someday you'll see
I'm not being hateful or cruel
I'm right
We would both regret it forever
If we did it here tonight
Jesus, anything else that you ask
I will do
Just please don't ever ask me to be his wife, his wife, his wife
I'd never make love to a Jew
Not even if Christ himself ask me to
And you can call me whatever you like
Racist and uptight
But still I'd never make love to a Jew
Even if you paid me to
I would't be that low a ho
Oh no I'd much rather have my guts run through
2008 Ramona Thompson
- COMMENTS
Epmd607over 15 years agosomehow I missed this one. This one is actually insulting and 'artful' in that it inspired rage in all the folks who've commented. Still, there is no lesson learned here, so even though it's art, the artist is a pure bigot since they failed to get a message across--and I'm starting to think maybe real life ramona isn't the good girl at heart that I thought she was. boohoo
Anonymousover 16 years agoGet a life..maybe the reason a marriage had to be arranged for you is coz you damn UUUUUGGGGLLLLLYYYYYY and nobody wants you.
WomanPariahover 16 years agoand now I feel compelled to chime in twice (and I'm forced to vote twice). This isn't Chris Rock attempting to UNITE different races by pointing out how f'n stupid all of us can be. This isn't even Lenny Bruce or Jim Morrison attempting to incite reaction just to get a reaction (I would have more respect for that, the two of them did it so brashly and intelligently, well, for the most part ... and I suppose I would be one of those "fucking idiots" of Miami). This isn't Sam Kinison dismantling male/female relationships by conceding his own naivite about marriage. This isn't Rosanne Barr branding men as pigs, and demonstrating just how culpable women are in the whole process. This isn't even Weird Al doing a "send up" of a song he LIKES, and having FUN with it (recall that Al got permission from all of the artists he ever parodied ... why? Because, as pedestrian as parody is, he KNEW what it is, and he did the sendups as homage, as well as to have fun.) Does RT really feel this way? The piece is so offensive that nobody cares. If you're going to offend, you had better have a rationale for it. Do I have to bring up 9/11? As horrifying and as inexplicable as the actions of the terrorists were, at least you know they believed in what they were doing. No, that's not any kind of sanction, trust me, but there's parallels between the ideologies aren't there? Where does racism end and genocide begin? Irrational am I? Perhaps. Ok, now I have to go read Mein Kampf for some sanity. (See, THAT'S how you zing someone, RT ... if I do say so myself).
twelveooneover 16 years agoI'd never make love to a Jew
Not even if Christ himself ask me to (asks - etc.)ROFL, oh the reactions you provoke. Reminds me a little of Plath's big hit. Which offended me. Now RT when are you going to get off your dead ass and leave comments on other people' stuff?
Angelineover 16 years agoNot funny. I'm Jewish. I don't see the humor. You could substitute another religion/nationality and I'd still be offended. I'm the last person here to tell someone that what they write isn't poetry, but this is just distasteful. And it has 0 poetic elements. You're entitled to your opinions and write to parody, but you won't be catching any flies with this vinegar.
