If

I want to say
the most perfect
words. Tell
of the greatest gifts
in my life, but
as they sleep, I sit
wonder and worry.
What happens
if ...

One just cannot imagine
stress
could eat at you
like piranhas
to blood dripping
flesh, cut
to the bone, gnawed
jaggedly in two
in seconds
what took years
to grow
blindly build.

Worry that attacks
at the weakest time
when nothing
could be worse and all
could fall apart
like a ship sinking
mass falls, men
jumping overboard
screaming for mercy
for life.
Only
they all forgot
me.

If this
is just a dream
If it was all
for nothing
If I am eaten
alive. Or if I sink
into the deep
dark
black oblivion ...