In Hoc Signo Vinces

On a dark and stormy night
In nineteen seventy five
Vinnie Barbarino knew
What Brylcreem’s® little dab’ll do
In a duck’s ass girls would love
To run their fingers through.

When I changed channels,
I saw Joe Namath
With help from Farrah
Who now was famous
Take it off with Noxzema®

Which made me hot
To jump in the shower
And turn on the faucet
For Head and Shoulders®

But all I had was liquid Prell®
Which worked quite well
Except smoke in one eye
And soap in the other
Fizzled my drizzled Pall Mall®.