Non-Erotic PoetryIn Japanese: BasudekadoHaiku were born here;
they are Japanese poems of
seventeen syllables,
three lines inspired by nature,
five, seven and five.
Nine, ten, now, much too soon
to be eleven years old.
You have been my poetess,
still writing with
your smiles and steps
I capture for the most precious
chapter book of my heart.
These images evoke a world
I'm charmed to be a part.
It is your birthday today,
but it is also mine.
I took my first breath with yours
and that's when we both begun to live.
4 Ame
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Beautiful!
Your spare, precise poem tells a love story that has only grown stronger with time. That's a lot of depth for such a spare, controlled poem but it is unsurprising to me given your ability. Anyway how can I not love it? I remember when she was born. Lovely work, Jamis. more...
Very touching
A sweet gift, Neo - they are a marvel, aren't they? A clean and moving write.
Minor quibble: I do agree with gm on the 'of' in S3L2 - the line feels cut off as it stands.
A lovely love poem from a father to his daughter, Neo. I have one too who by the way has visited her step-brother there, a career naval officer. They're both very fond of the culture.
One quibble: Although I'm not a big fan of ending sentences with a preposition, I think S3L2 would have sounded better with "of" and I was left wondering if it was intentional or an oversight.more...
TWINS OF THE SAME MOTHER
and a soliquy for the diary. TK U MLJ LV NV
Japan took Lord Vasudeva from
India & Nipponized him into Basudekado !
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