In Memory

This is a dedication written for someone very close to my heart. Property of Trinique_Fire. Do not duplicate or re-print without permission. Copyright 2010 by Trinique_Fire.

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I find you in the dark just hours before the sun
visiting my thoughts.
But you were never one to be quiet
always having to announce your presence
before God and whoever else cared to listen,
and so my dreams don’t disappoint.
I see you in me,
a side effect of growing older;
finally learning the secrets of the trade.
I stay up long hours
because the dark is safer
for the kinds of things I have to write
binging and purging on you
Ms. Wordsmith.
Like a disease
your memory haunts my heart.
It’s no hallucination when I say I see you
arms crossed
standing at my window and looking out at the lake
never saying much
just a low chuckle, ironic.
Inhale
Exhale
Breaths come and go but I can’t get you off my chest
and it hurts to breathe
especially in the wake of my sanity
flowing like water off my back
or could it just be
tears
in the fabric of what was once you
and me?
For the sake of our children
I’ll try to continue this legacy
you always knew was yours
and yours alone.
These memories of painful Technicolor
paint for me watercolor visions of the past
and I feel you inside
keeping the beat
deep in my heart
reminding me never to forget
the history we made
when this girl became woman
on her journey into tenacity.