In Pain I Wait

I believe, yes, something there
Oh, a spot, a lump, not supposed to be
Not disappearing, growing bigger
Hello doctor, cancer, really?

The poison in my veins: sick
I think I'd like to die now, God
Heat and light, markers to zero

Under the knife, get it all out
This flesh, these blobs, useless tissue
I don't need them, take them off

Recovery and waiting, get used to it
Another day, another visit, but
Hello doctor, cancer, it's back?

Yes, I should have known, felt it
Therapy and brightness, wasted time
Sorry, failure looms, experiments?

No, you did your best, it's me
My broken body, my tainted genes
I will not fret or rage or mourn
In pain I wait... for death