In Search Of Madness

Sitting , staring,
Wanting release,
Never granted.
Thinking, wishing,
Thoughts running, ideas dead.

Gripping the reins of sanity,
To loose them is to be free.
Once released,
Madness reigns,
Forever losing "me”

Paranoid,
I see things,
That are better left unseen.
Wondering where I have gone,
Never finding "me".

Grief,
It cannot touch me here.
Nor sadness affect the day.
Order is a stranger here,
Chaos rules my mind.

Too long has passed,
Since I left my mind,
A wandering for to go.
Cares and woes are far behind,
Onward is all I can go.

Worry not my friend,
Are you real or just a dream?
It matters not.
For once in here,
A dream can turn out real.

Days go by,
Or maybe years.
I can never tell.
Wrapped in fog,
my senses reel,
What was it I said?

What once I was,
Can never be.
A mind dissolved in thought.
Emotions seem so far away,
None of them are "me".

Where anger flowed,
Now laughter runs.
Pain has come and gone.
At last I have ceased to feel,
The universe was all too real.

I can close my eyes,
And what I see,
Comes from inside my brain.
Another mental movie,
Where I do all the parts.

In here,
There is no love,
There is no loss,
No one can reach me here,
Safe inside my skull.

I don't miss the world.
Nor the company of anyone.
Companionship is everywhere.
Can’t you hear the voices cry?
“Say hello to the sky.”

Sometimes I think of coming out,
And being sane again.
But then I have another dream.
On second thought,
I'll stay.