In Searching the Heavens

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Koba
Koba
125 Followers

In searching the heavens
I have many times gazed into the abyss,
refuting its vision defiantly.
On the shore
I have seen sparrows falling
on counted grains of sand.
I have dissected drunken boats
whose glorious treasures were lost
in the depths of the ocean.
And in the end,
I have come to understand
that when I choose to listen,
I may hear the voice I seek more clearly
in the senseless questions of a schizophrenic,
than I do
in the answers provided
by the mountain climbing mystics.

Koba
Koba
125 Followers
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3 Comments
HarryHillHarryHillover 10 years ago
Before reading this

I looked at your submission page, so in fact, this comment is more about the poet than the poem. (disclaimer) Some good titles there and here. I'm a sucker for the spiritual, and except for the gentle nudge(oy) I would not have seen it.

It read like a mini essay of the human condition as applies to the poet, however some editing to concentrate the essence would be good.in part as follows.

..

in (senseless) (schizophrenic) questions ,

than (in answers provided)

by (mountain climbing mystics.)

Nice work

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerover 10 years ago

Liked the first sentence; didn't feel the same about "counted grains of sand" until I realized it was an allusion. The ending was great.

twelveoonetwelveooneover 10 years ago
first two lines

present a curious inversion, however it is followed through here as in

refuting its vision and the question and the answer

on counted grains of sand. - nice avoidance of cliche

5ed