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Click hereEnd of summer,invisible lover,
hungry, waiting, speak to me
persimmon whispers peeling off
your dappled, fuzzy tongue.
Plump with possibility,
your ripened speech attracting bees
those not yet fallen, fruited words
descend toward crumbled, graham ground.
With apricot bounce, apple round
your offering-
just a new-moon pie
topped with summer's starving sky
vanilla nowhere, to be found.
This poem tumbled right off my tongue, and I tasted every decadent word! Aside from the richness in flavor, the rhythm is incredibly fluid. The only thing I would tweak, is the commas at the end of lines. Yhe line breaks imply pause, so the commas aren't needed. This was anything but non-erotic poetry. I like that it was extremely erotic without being overtly sexual. Proves erotica isn't synonymous with trashy.
some very rich imagery / short and very sweet /
YumM... I'm thinking this delish piece should've been in erotic category as you've got me all hot for apple pie ;)
sensual, and the imagery...off the charts.
~your ripened speech attracting bees
those not yet fallen, fruited words
descend toward crumbled, graham ground.~
That's Nice
Great work.