It has to be Done

Today's list of things to do:

 

1- Rearrange my entire life.  Will the pieces still fit together? all jumbled or less jumbled? Who knows... it's a puzzle to me.

 

2- Hurt the ones I care for by caring for myself.

 

3- Learn the object of my desire's true name.  I can't remember it.  Someone told me once.

 

4- Get over hurting the ones I care for.

 

5 -Throw my appathetic "love" in the trash.

 

6 - Punish myself for hurting the ones I care for.

 

7  Quench this insatiable disatisfaction in my chest.

 

888 Who is it that I care for? Oh yes, tell the ones I care for that I'm sorry for hurting them.

 

9-- Contain the fire in my head so that my hair does not catch on fire as I run screaming from this place.

 

9-  Try to be truly sorry for hurting the ones I care for.

 

10/ Forgive those that made me feel dirty--or just show them how dirty is done, it's a toss-up, could go either way.

 

11  Try harder to be sorry for hurting the ones I care for.

 

11  Rifle through the storage bin in my gut for some courage.

 

12- Try one last time to be sorry for hurting the ones I care for.

 

131313 Open up a zipper to my soul and let someone reach in and see what they pull out.

 

14- Examine the contents of my soul.  What a mess.  I'll be here all night on this one...

 

15  Put the pieces of myself in some type of numerical, alphabetical, catogorical order.

 

16  Smear a smile on my face when I tell the ones I care for that I'm sorry that I can't be sorry.

 

27  Find a way to release the pressure building around my heart.  It's suffocating me.  My lungs don't have room to expand anymore.

 

1  Figure out what I'm sorry for again.

 

0- Ice down my swollen eyes.  The tears always freeze when I do that.

 

0  Weigh my happiness with the hurt I caused my loved ones.  Which is more expensive? Why is everything so expensive?


00-  It has to be done   It has to be done   It has to be done   It has to be done   It has to be done

 

  Done.