It's Ok to be Bi

I remember feeling different ever since I was a child.
Always different from the other kids. I knew at once
that the difference in me was something meant to be hidden.


So I hid it.


I grew up to be a tall, big kid.
The kind of guy people assume must be a football player.
As a kid, I was shy. Didn't get many girls. But I was cute.
More than one girl liked me. I liked the attention. I liked
hanging out with boys. I enjoyed talking to them and playing with
them. I also liked the girls. I found them attractive.


But my strongest bonds were to my brethren.
The universal brotherhood of men.
I understand men. I respect them. I identify with them.
Never have I felt truly connected to a woman.
I respect women. I can empathize with them. But I do
not understand them any more than they understand me
no matter what they say.


As time went by, I discovered a strong emotional attraction
to certain men and a strong physical attraction to certain women.
It confused the hell out me. Late at night, like many boys and some
girls I lay in bed. I played with myself thinking of the opposite sex and
often the same sex. Hmm. Images of gorgeous women aroused me
just as much as those of hard-bodied men. This confused the hell out
of me.


What was I ?


I was a black youth from a typical catholic family. I wasn't raised to be
no sissy. I wasn't weak or effeminate. I was a big and tall youth.
How could I be....that way ? I fought it. There were times when I hated myself.
There was even a time when I considered killing myself. I feared no one would
understand what I was going through. I feared the world would hate me. Hate me for being who and what I am. Terminally bisexual. Eternally drawn to men and women and completely incapable of giving up either one for the sake of the other.


This is what I am.


And I am okay with it. Thank you Jesus. I am at peace and actively looking for someone to love.


The End.