I've often wondered

I've often wondered

I've often wondered what it might be like
To stick my dick in the sand.
To finger a puffer fish, watch it blow up
Or masturbate with an Oyster instead of my hand.

I've often wondered what it might be like
To fart in a patch full of moss
Or to stand on the cliffs with the oceans below
And send off a really good toss.

I've often wondered what it might be like
To fly in the sky up above,
And tinkle a bit as I flew across it
On the person I once used to love.

Such are the thoughts of a silly assed man
As he ponders the meaning of life.
To hell with all this as I think on it more,
I'll just go off and fuck my sweet wife.