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Click hereWe are coffee mosquitos,
sucking bold roast morning
from jittery beans.
By noon
we are spelunkers,
with caffeine bat urgency,
dampening the cave floor.
We are crashing moths in evening,
attracted to the brew light
of "one more pot."
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copyright d. dixon
9.19.2008
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- COMMENTS
Angelineabout 15 years agomade me laugh. :-D What word did UP say he didn't like? Was it "urgently"? Well he has a point that adverbs usually are not the best choice in a poem (not that I don't use them when I can't think of anything better lol). Anyway I like the consistency of theme, the marvelous imagery with so few words. I think you can do better than the last two lines you have now. In fact, I know you can! They're not bad by any means; I just hold you to a higher standard...
