Jesus Came

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Did Mary Magdalene ever give Jesus a blow
And whatever happened to that Holy Cum?
Did it glow bright white on His bed sheets
As he woke up calling out for the girl next door?

Did Mother Mary ponder as she washed the stains
And wonder what girl would be good enough for her boy?
Did the Prince of Piece glimpse heaven in an orgasm
And did he make love or fuck or both?

And when he died on Calvary
Did they see his penis and believe?

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5 Comments
The MuttThe Muttover 19 years ago
Holy Cow!

Sacred cows make the tastiest burgers. Any topic is suitable for discussion. And for satire. Well done.

AnonymousAnonymousover 19 years ago
"Prince of Piece" might be too cheap a shot, BUT

you are to be commended for taking this topic on. In view of the fact that there's a scholarly work out there (by Professor Morton Smith of Columbia University)presenting evidence of Jesus' actively gay lifestyle, your witty poem shouldn't be received as so terribly shocking. Moreover, your motive in de-gnosticizing the mind/body split so prevalent in popular Christian theology is a good and important one. Don't press it too far, however. As you probably know, it was among early Christian gnostics that sexual dimensions of Jesus' message and ministry were imaginatively explored (especially, apparently, in their sacraments, viz. the "bridal chamber"). And it was also the gnostics who promoted non-gendered biases in interpreting the Jesus tradition (as in the Coptic-Gnostic "Gospel of Mary"). I applaud your courage, especially in the current environment of religious intolerance, of reminding us that Jesus was as flesh and blood as any of us.

carolinablueelfcarolinablueelfover 19 years agoAuthor
For Eve

Hey there! Thanks for your comments on the poem. You know, I debated about the use of "Prince of Piece" and do think that it may be over the top. I do want you to know, however, that the goal of the poem is more to get people to think less Gnostically about the division of body and spirit. Some of that I hoped to accomplish through shock value but I definitely didn't want the poem to be a puerile and juvenile thing.

sacksackover 19 years ago
Some topics just shouldn't be satired.....

Handicapped people, the dead and dying, and this....Still, would like to read other poems with this same type of biting wit!!

WickedEveWickedEveover 19 years ago
I don't usually leave comments like this, but...

I read your bio about a "mix of sensuality and spirituality." I suppose a poem such as this could be intriguing. But the way you wrote it, I can't get past the offensiveness to clearly see the poetry. Of course, that is my personal problem with the content. "Prince of Piece" is a rather juvenile phrase. I think that's one of the reasons why I can't see this as anything but shock value poetry.

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