- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Just Enough
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We made peace with a rose
while I uncrossed my legs
to the whisper in his words
touching my closed eyes
sweeping through deep breaths
finding my hiding spot
bare and empty
a child confused
by tender strokes
reminiscent now
of earlier days
when there was always just enough
to bring me back to the bed
closing my eyes through the pain
- COMMENTS
cymryover 18 years agoto pull the reader in and hold them there long after the words are gone. The words flow faultlessly from top to bottom for the most part, though I would agree to a certain extent that it needs punctuation. Just here...
"...to bring me back to the bed.
Closing my eyes through the pain."
dcpoet44over 18 years agoand you've captured it that leaves me feeling it in just the right place - the eyes blur. nicely done.....don
Anonymousover 18 years agoand it had enough pull to hold the thoughts..most enjoyable..ty/blue
sackover 18 years agoone long sentence, in which case any punctuation would just clog the thoughts. I think your format works, and especially like the first line!
