- Non-Erotic Poetry
- King's Justice at Montfauçon
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The hangmen dug up charnel sin
Beneath Gibet de Montfauçon
Such that, so read the king's decree,
Monsieur Olivier le Daim,
Who hanged for half the lords of France,
Might rest in peace at St. Laurent.
Perhaps the dogs had dug him up
Or so they thought until they saw
Instead a hunchback skeleton
Embracing what was left of her,
And at once those grave men knew
Why bells no longer rang in Paris.
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineerabout 12 years agoAuthorI'd enjoy that. In fact, I thought about the same thing after Senna's comment and realized I violated my own rule of thumb which I would comment on in any discussion.
Tzaraabout 12 years agothat perhaps we could discuss on the PF&D. After reading his comments, I'd have to say I disagree that, in general among readers with knowledge of the general Western fiction canon (or even classic movies), this poem would be overly obscure. The phrases and terms that are historic and specific are, in general, not required to understand the poem. While reading the poem is enhanced by understanding the specific history of Gibet de Montfauçon, merely knowing that this is a gibbet I think is enough to get the gist of the poem. Similarly, in S2, I don't need to know anything in particular about Olivier or St. Laurent to understand that someone with an influential family is being disinterred in order to be buried at a more socially appropriate place.
The key is, of course, knowing something about the plot of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." If this is not familiar to the reader, the last stanza makes no sense. I don't think it is a stretch, though, to expect that of a reader. You will lose some, of course. You pick the wrong book, you'd lose me.
One of the questions I'm interested in discussing is whether a poem needs to appeal to, or more accurately, be comprehensible to, anyone, regardless of background.
The Moderns (e.g., Eliot and Pound) obviously didn't think so, but some poems are so basic in experience that they are, or can be, thought of as universal.
Anyway, I'm blabbing. Sorry. Would you and SJ be open to discussing this, using your poem as a reference or starting point?
Senna Jawaabout 12 years agogreenmountaineer, you are a wonderful poet but this poem is too hard for me to follow (thus I didn't rate it). Perhaps I should use wikipedia or other sources. However, when there is a bunch of terms, data, etc. to find, as opposed to just a word or two, then perhaps it's too much to expect from a reader. It's not just history but any somewhat specialized topic, say biology.
Thus I'd like to suggest that you add to poems like this one a note on history. Literotica does not provide enough of graphical flexibility to do it discretely and nicely (does it? in a regular text?), so do it as well as you can or post your comment on the Literotica Poetry Feedback & Discussion board, and a link to it here, under your poem.
In this poem, despite your smooth phrasing, I was stumbling a bit. Also, I am embarrassed to say that I didn't know at the end who "she" ("her") was.
BTW, don't feel that special notes, like about certain historical events or characters or customs would detract anything from your poem. You would not comment on your own poem. You'd merely provide some generally available historical background.
I enjoy your poetry. Best regards,
greenmountaineerabout 12 years agoAuthorI should have said the page comes up French. My browser shows a Google "translate this page.". If yours does too, you should click on that instead of the URL for Gibet de Montfaucon.
