Knight In Shining Armor

In certain moments
Memories overwhelm me
Then sadness caused by the
Realization that all we once had
Once upon a time
Will never again be ours

In certain moments
I find myself remembering
Yearning for you,
Longing for what was,
Once upon a time
Despite my mistakes
Despite my choices
Aside from your slights
Aside from your persistent
criticism and anger
Despite my pulling away
In spite of it all.

At certain moments
When I recall how it felt
Once upon a time
To be loved by you,
cherished by you
Trying all over again
In your arms like before...
It is at those certain moments
That I must admit that
As wonderful and beautiful
As that dream seems
It's really too late...
For happily ever after
We've broken too much
Trust, Respect, Honor -
It just wouldn't be the same,
It would be impossible
For me -
To get past the hurt we both have
To get past the guilt of the others
To get past "the past" - to move on.
Because
Too much has happened to forget
-even if forgiven
-how can we ever trust again?

At certain moments
When I'm completely truthful
With myself -
I think I realized that
Fairy tales don't come true
'Cuz my knight in shining armor
had armor rusty and dented
His maiden in distress was
scarred and broken
We had parts missing and damaged
in each of us
Voids we couldn't or wouldn't fill
So, I risking everything
- or maybe nothing - because
I had just stopped caring
in that way; at that level.
There had been too many unspoken words,
Too many words spoken in anger
Hurt - gone unaddressed far too long
We can't just pick up the pieces of a love gone
A love gone wrong

At certain moments of clarity I realize
Fairy tales don't come true
At least not for me & you
And
It's the sadness
That's what gets to me.
It's the pain of loss -
It's the ache of emptiness
Yours & mine
That's what I want to share,
What I need to share
Together saying goodbye to yesterday
While we gather strength
to separately welcome our tomorrows.

SoulEnchantress