Kyoungsan

Plummeting a hard door like a lunatic in Kyoung-san, Korea
Cowardly whacking a wooden door
With my fist
Till it bled
And ballooned and bled some more
I wanted it to be the RN's cherubic but mean-spirited Face
Mr. Sow
But it wasn't
It was a hard door
I beat the door to shreds
I needed to keep that job
With MJ
And we didn't have much
Except my teaching job at Kwak Young's
He complained about her wearing pajamas around the school
It was really a bizarre situation
I would teach our classes for six hours
And then stumble
Into my room
Which was located a hair's breath from the classrooms
My only reveries were on the rooftop
Or in the office bowels near a copy machine
As I ran off copy after copy
Zen and hypnotic
Nervous and
Into our dorms
And we had another Italian
Named Fabio
Who amused himself
With watching the beginning of a doomed marriage
Mesmerized by a train wreck
So I beat my own fists against the door with rage and fury
And had to get injections in my ass
Every 3 days
To cool down the boxer-glove swelling
And learn how to write left-handed on white boards
Itch cast and physical therapy
Even calls from home would arrange me
Especially my mother
Molesting me with daggers about
Going back to school
And completing degrees
I cursed at her over the phone
Married life wasn't starting out too well
And poured bottles of white rice-wine Macholie
Down my throat every night
I was angry with white rage at everything
Even my contact lenses seemed bent
On delivering excruciating pain
Every morning
Managed to put on a calm teacher's face
For 6 hours a day
And MJ and I closed up shop when the bottom really started to fall out
And went to the states
For more grief and despair
But the swelling went down in my fist
And I could hold a pen
And write on the board again
And then began the stabbing my soul for the next 15 years
With the staples of a 20 page nowhere teaching application
Would have been better off
Blinding horses in Suffolk