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Click hereMeetArgentinosaurus, el grande
hombre at 65 feet a towering mass
of head and teeth like scimitars,
one-third as long as a soccer field,
a real earth-quaker and hungry?
Honey you donot want to know
those jaws.
What killed the terrible lizards?
Was it their bad luck Earth writhed,
shot fire and smoke befouled the skies?
Was it climate change, the random
absurdity of meteors?
Alas poorArgentinosaurus,
dwarfed by the Empire State Building:
by my calculation you're just short
of the sixth floor and unlike Kong
you can't even climb. Just hang up
your bones, another monument
to extinction.
the use of the ? Mark for me helped transition the words at the start into a type of conversation as opposed to text on a screen, I added the tonal inflections of the question marks, the first one came across as joking and the next series as serious questioning
I disagree that the underline was a distraction, I think it added to the "conversational feel to the poem from text on a screen to conversational intimations when I was subvocalising the piece, which added an emphasis that I liked, agreed with tsothas points about the tone shift from humour to serious to humours and a tad dismissive.
Besides all that I am unsure as to the feel of the piece I keep reading it and searching for more, like there is a niggle of something I'm missing...... Any way to fry my brain another day with it.
Thanks for the read
Four good stanze, good humor throughout, but... I'm left with this strange feeling about how they interrelate.
1st: presents the subject, sets the tone. (Why the question mark at the end, though?)
2nd: funny, draws attention to itself by sitting all alone between two larger block of text. I wonder whether it could have been linked with what came above (teeth like scimitars, hungry — you do not want to meet those jaws). I like the markup to show where the stress is in the sentence, but imho italics would have been less intrusive while achieving the same result.
3rd: I like this stanza, but why the sudden questioning about how the dinosaurs went extinct? It feels like a change in direction after stanze 1 and 2. I feel there should be a question mark after climate change, too, since you're presenting alternatives.
4rth: and now back to humor, made me quirk my brow with the allusion of the irrelevance of the discovery — just another monument to extinction, unimportant when compared to what humans have built. At least, that's how it reads to me.
Fascinating. Thank you for sharing.
s3 lines 2 and 3 rhyming writhed and skies, beautiful :) ... saw this on cnn I think but that discovery was not half as entertaining as this