Letter for a dream

When love has been lost......a poet loses all reason for rhyme.

Age is a meaning less number incapable of measuring experiences throughout life. The heart however records everything a person has experienced during their life. Happiness, love, sadness, loss, abuse, and, rejection are all etched into our hearts, which shapes us into who we are and why we do the things we do.

We literally Talked until the sun came up. When we talked I felt at ease to be myself without fear of rejection. To share who I am, and what I have been through in life. When you shared you life in return, I found the ability to be close to you. Truly only one other person has ever made feel so comfortable. Despite being a friendly and caring person, my heart has taught me not to trust easily. You earned my trust by taking the time to talk to me. It made me realize you were not just a man who was looking to ease his sexual desires. As we watched the sun come up. I thought about all the consequences that may arise if we were to have a relationship. The first opportunity we were alone together I admit I was too impulsive. I never had the intention of sleeping with you that day. On my drive home I realized I couldn't stop the myself from caring about you. That thought paralyzed me with fear. In the past I have always been able to separate love from lust. That was until you ......I could never have imagined What it was like to be with you .....You set my desires on Fire with a single kiss! I never thought it possible other than in my dreams. Your tender affectionate ways seduced my deepest dreams. The way you looked at me made me feel like I was more to you than just a fleeting moment. When I looked into your eyes I seen a man Who loved with all his heart, and who was sincere in his words as well as his actions. A true and exceptional Friend. I am not saying I had the misconception that I had found perfection. What I found was a real person who had the strength and confidence to be honest and himself, which for me had been Impossible to find. I know you had been hurt, deceived, and mistreated, by other women in your past. So I did something I have never done, I opened myself up to you as a good faith gesture, hoping you would trust me enough to open yourself too. Knowing I was taking the chance of being hurt I continued to pursue a relationship. I thought there was no better way to show you how sincere I am. I ll never understand why you rejected me .... not because of anything I did ...BUT because of Who I am! , and because of what other people said!!!! Opinions are just that and nothing more. I was so disappointed.I was hurt because for the first time I had no control over my heart, Nor did I have any way to change our circumstances. I know you wanted to give the love you already had a second chance, and I understand why I wasn't worth the effort or the grief you had to endure at work. I just thought you were a stronger Man. I Never live my life with regrets I always do what I want, I just weigh the consequences and determine if I am willing to pay them. The conclusion I came to, was for each kiss you had given me It was worth a thousand tears. I wish for you.... the happiness I felt when you held me in your arms. I won't and wouldn't have disappointed you .