Letter To Lost Love

I know you know I’m hurting
And I know that you know why
You’re sexy and you’re flirting
But it’s with the other guy
I’m trying not to notice it
I’m trying to be friends
I’m trying to stay centered
While my fractured ego mends

*****

I never thought I’d fall for you
I thought myself too strong
Yes, I can play this game for two
Sure, I can play along
I love to kiss and bite and lick
Your body’s full of pleasure
I didn’t look before I leapt
I thought I had your measure

*****

I’m certain you’re a woman
Who is used to centre stage
Who can play the crowd precisely
Who knows when to turn the page
Look at me caught like a fish
I’m hooked now, line and sinker
So please just drop me overboard
Don’t probe and poke and tinker

*****

I admit now that I’m drowning
I don’t have a head for heights
And I’m dizzy from the vision
Of your sensuous delights
Don’t leave me gasping for my breath
To you I’m just a pimple
I’m begging won’t you turn me loose
Or kill me, plain and simple

*****

Please don’t make me like you
Any more than I have done
Please don’t make me want you
Or regret what I’ve become
Please don’t tease me with your eyes
Or make me miss your voice
If you want me to survive you
Then you just don’t have a choice

*****

Don’t speculate on maybes
Or say what might well have been
It really doesn’t matter you’re
The best thing that I’ve seen
You’re back with him and living
Like a wife within his walls
So I can’t see why I’m still here
Or why you take my calls

*****

It was different at your home because
At least you had your space
You could make the time to talk
You could do it at your pace
It felt separated somehow
From the dramas of your life
It was calm and it was peaceful
An oasis in the strife

*****

But it’s not like that anymore
No matter how we try
You are married, back together
And it would be a lie
If I didn’t feel it cheapens me
To speak while he’s with you
You are sleeping in his bed now
Maybe sleeping with him too

*****

If we wanted simple friendship
Then we never should have met
I could fantasise in safety
Knowing I would never let
Myself get involved emotionally
And make myself a fool
Wouldn’t know what I was missing…
Wish I’d stuck to my own rule

*****

I don’t blame anybody
But myself for how I feel
I allowed myself to put my hope
In something that’s not real
From now on I will have to dream
Of someone else to see
The night has gone and is this dawn
A brand new day for me?