Life without........

Life doesn’t seem worth living
when you aren’t here with me.
I’ve left you in the darkness,
And finally I see.

It’s been five years of lonely
Though scarce I was alone
Searching for some great meaning,
turning away from home.

But my heart keeps falling back
to things we used to do
Like making love in silence
and sleeping in your room

I miss your arms around me,
your teeth upon my skin.
Silly days of IHOP haze
And games set to begin

Those times were free from worry
we both were normal then
before these complications
that brought us to an end

I hope an end it isn’t
I’m breathing on the flame
hoping for something hopeless
wishing you’d say my name

You’ll probably never see this
My pouring of my heart
I cannot make excuses
for trouble that I start

Hind sight is 20-20
although it is cliche
I’ll never forgive myself
for pushing you away

I see great things between us
I see you everywhere
I’m anxious of your feelings
and hoping that you care

I’d tell you that I love you
If not for what you’d say
"You shouldn’t," just as always
As tends to be your way

So instead I’ll sit and dwell
on past and future things
pondering my position
and much abused gold rings

And hoping that I’ll see you
or at least hear your voice
prepared to haunt the sidelines
depending on your choice.