Lillies and Cheese

I thought to send you flowers
lilies and cheese
rose wine and dark chocolates
but you would know
they were from me.

Your still silent smirk
later when you call you say nothing
but about the weather
and ask only to talk to him.

I am waiting    waiting    for a loophole    a crack
in a wall    a door    an unlocked window
 a sign    a letter
a deed    checking the classifieds
retrieving the mail    listening to someone else's
conversations.

I'm a patient woman
 and no lithium no whiskey
 no painkillers no drain-o
cyanide cocktail can whittle
the wait away.  

I need it gone.

fuck you fuck you and your lillies
and cheese
fuck you fuck you for be so damned
what I need.

You drink alone in a dimestore apartment
while my big legs and woman wound
are spread wide here.

What happened to the hat?
What happened to the street-side
preacher the crooked politician
the magician?

You say you can't handle
the southern heat
You see, I don't fancy
these fucking long white slush winters.
Let's just talk about the weather.