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Lips of a Angel
Eyes of the Ocean Blue
Hair of Spun Gold
Skin of Soft Alabaster
Your lips taste of ambrosia
Your eyes deep enough to drown in
Your fine hair moves with the slightest breeze
Your baby soft skin
Smells just like a field after a fresh rain
Your lips drawing me in
My whole being drowning in your eyes
The soft feel of your hair
The sweet touch of your flesh
My Angel
My Soulmate
Holding me Close
Never letting me go
Saving me from the Abyss
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 15 years agoThere are too many explicit references to her body parts. The reader isn't stupid. Make him/her guess a little what you mean.
You could improve it by combining what is said in the first two paragraphs. Something like:
Your Angel lips taste of ambrosia.
I'm drawn in by your Ocean Blues.
By your Spun Gold,
that moves with the slightest breeze.
Baby soft alabaster skin,
pure as the scent after summer rain.
Just my opinion. Follow your instinct!
I liked your last paragraph the best.
