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Click hereWhen I was little it was the letter A
All perfect up there in my brain
Then pencil hit paper and goodbye A
You ugly, misbegotten, shaky thing.
Now that I'm older whole people
Tumble - fully formed in my head!
Onto the digital page of my stories
Splattering into half-formed cartoons.
I know to show and not to tell
Because it's easy to be told
It's even easy to be shown
As so many others often do
But to do it myself, that's the trick!
It starts so smooth and clear
But the devil lies in the details
And one by one they snag and snap
So I get lost in the mess of my own mind
What to to put in, what to take out
And what was graceful in the Form
Clunks and jerks about in the instance
I wrote row upon row of misformed As
And slowly they became rows of pretty As
So maybe the characters will become clear
Through the clouds of words that muddle them
And then I will get that little red H that dangles in front of me!
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
;)
baking a cake is a great analogy. TK U MLJ LV NV ^*^
Cool lament. I struggled with what you are talking about. The easiest way to manage this problem is to imagine a situation that matches your theme and carefully describe what you see in your head, with care not to add details that do not enhance the poem. I sounds hard but it gets easier. You can actually write, so you will get there.
and some that could be better. I would reverse "misbegotten, shaky" for rhythm; I am no fan of capitalization of each line, and I think your poem is a good example of why I don't like it--it hinders the meaning; I would cut the last two lines which smack of you not meaning anything you have written earlier.
I only wrote this because I think there is a good poem in here. I hope you will take it in that part. Ty.
you devil. Damn red H's! Lit readers like a certain recipe in stories, and sometimes one or two bangs take your H straight to hell. I've read great stories that score a 4, and bad ones that score an H--go figure. You made me smile. Not sure, but maybe the As should be A's.