little screams

Poem Info
52 words
3.67
2k
0
Poem does not have any tags
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
keacreme
keacreme
6 Followers

little screams bounce
eyes juggle dampness
between the obelisks
we erected yesterday
                               you have no idea
nails ripped clean
spelling always atrocious
monuments to memory
never spills over
                               you're smiling somewhere now
celebrated the hour
ballsy baby nerveless
whimper into puddles
crumpled devotion reflects
                               you didn't see me

keacreme
keacreme
6 Followers
Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
3 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozabout 17 years ago
~~

I'll go with Chris on this; you've a strong emotional undertow that pulls but the words just don't feel that strongly connected.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
I liked

the bitter tone here, but this doesn't feel as well constructed as some of your other poems.

I felt the image of the obelisks to be a bit too vague and couldn't see the connection to the rest of the poem.

AmyfriendAmyfriendabout 17 years ago
----

Strong and emotional words but i'd rather not say what I thought it was about, as I wouldn't want to offend if it is so personal.

Share this Poem