Loneliness

I sit looking out the window
you’re not there.
Am I in love with you
or just the idea of you?
Do I miss you
or am I just lonely?

It’s been so long
this week without you here.
I wander through the house
my steps… they echo.
I remember your laugh
I hear it even now.

Anger rises dispelling the loneliness.
It comes from within.
Is its aim you or is it me?
When you left you said you’d call.
My phone mocks me.
Its silence is deafening.

A commitment you wanted,
be only mine you begged.
There’s only you I promised
as night bled into day.
Was it love or lust
that joined our hands at dawn?

The days march swiftly onward
the nights can be so cold.
You come to visit
your presence here is known.
I hear you in the house
yet know I’ll wake alone.

Is this what you wanted?
I feel myself bound.
Those long ago words
monogamy, the concept unites us.
Am I what you wanted
or am I too just an idea for you?

Middle-aged lovers
our children are grown.
The future seemed endless
filled with long nights of love.
The angst of our teen years
we’re beyond that now.

Hello uncertainty.
Good morning doubt.
Is this what’s left to me
every time you walk out?
If you don’t want me
Please… set me free.

Someone’s in the driveway.
Is it? Yes, it’s you.
So strong, so virile
I love you!
I love you more!
Please, can I stay?