long enough?

take myself away
for a moment long enough
to reconstruct a mental
monster. larger than life
and living in one small head
reach way back and stretch
fingers long enough
to tickle a chronic open sore
soothe myself past the
burn, again and then
forget it, forget it
i can't quit it
or just not long enough
to walk away
not strong enough
my own devices leave me
sadly unsuited for
any attempt
in any event, i'll
cry about it all
like i do, like i say i
never do
and hold tightly
to impossiblity
choking it to death.