- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Look Into My Eyes
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Click hereWould looking into my eyes allow you to see who I am
Gregarious, playful and enthusiastic would this show?
Would looking into my eyes require a certain amount of time to see
Laughter, sorrow or pain and that they remain?
Would looking into my eyes reveal any of my life from the past
children beginning born, men that I loved and that loved me?
Would looking into my eyes enable you see my death
when I might go, what will kill me and if I go to heaven?
Would looking into my eyes let you see my feelings
what you mean to me right at this moment?
Would you, for me, look now, into my eyes
Tell me what you see.
- COMMENTS
Trixareforkidsalmost 10 years agoThat the speaker was blind, the eyes were glass. Something besides a woman looking for answers outside herself.
Still, a decent poem. If typos bother you as much as they do me, you can fix it and resubmit with a note that it is an edit and to replace the previous version.
And again, ignore anon. Obviously not the thinking type.
Cleardaynowalmost 10 years agoWell dear old anonymous has made a visit away from the Loving Wives hub. He (or she) is right about one thing – this not a 'poam'. Also, most of us try to distinguish between the words ‘write’ & ‘right’ in our comments.
Welcome Pinkchick52, to the Poetry section. Sorry you had such an unpleasant first response – not typical from us, either in its lack of courtesy or poor English (though most of us can manage the occasional spelling mistake or grammatical blip in our comments).
Yes, this is perfectly fine as a poem (in my opinion).
I think it takes a refreshing and original angle and that the repetition works here. Nice ideas and progression. I look forward to seeing more poems from you.
PS I think you may have meant ‘being’ rather than ‘beginning’ in line 6.
Anonymousalmost 10 years agoThat's not even a poam that's questions that are not answered and it's like a re-run over and over again. (Would looking into my eyes) that's bullshit learn how to right then think about writing poams..plus there's a lot of grammar mistakes learn English!!!
