Love in a Lifetime

Love in a Lifetime

I’ve always been stubborn, hardheaded wouldn’t be much of a stretch of a label to put on me.
Maybe it comes from the pain of love that I’ve felt in this lifetime, however short it may be.
I love the way your eyes shine so brightly when you smile, it’s hard not to feel loved.
Every day we spend together, every moment, every touch, each brush of our lips upon each other, I thank the Lord above.
I love the way your skin feels under my fingertips, the caress of your hands on my back as we draw each other closer.
Then I awaken, my breath rushing, my pulse racing and I remember the day I lost her.
The pain comes back to me like slamming into a brick wall, I feel bruised and broken.
As I lay there I think of all the things I never told her, all the words that I should’ve spoken.
I close my eyes, imagining her touch upon me once again and it pains me again as I realize what I had and lost.
Now that she is gone, I would give anything for just one more moment, one more kiss, one more smile, no matter what the cost.
As I dress myself in my suit, looking myself over in the mirror, a realization comes to me, I never let anyone in or get as close as to me as I did with her.
I straighten my tie, sliding my hands into my pockets on the jacket as I reflect on what I’ve lost and it is certainly much more then just a lover.
I brush my hair away from my face, staring again at my reflection, seeing the redness in my face as I splash cold water onto my skin.
Suddenly I feel the urge again as I draw my fist back, driving it wholeheartedly into the mirror, I feel the glass break, feel the piece that slices my chin.
I grip the countertop in anger, wetting a washcloth as I wipe the blood away, holding pressure to stop the bleeding as I feel tears begin to come.
I wash my face again once the blood is stopped, feeling myself coming undone.
I quickly compose myself as I walk out of the house, climbing into my car, starting the engine as I drive to her funeral where I’m the keynote speaker.
I go over the things to say in my head for her eulogy, having trouble on deciding what to say and what not to, I look upward seeing the sky darken, feeling the situation become bleaker.
I go into the funeral home, walking slowly along the rows of chairs, looking down at the floor, brushing my hand over the brim of the coffin as I stare down into her silent face.
I grip onto the coffin feeling my knees weaken, my heart leaping up past my chest, past my mouth, drifting off into outer space.
I close my eyes, regaining my nerve once again as I look once more at her, leaning down I kiss her forehead.
I turn around to begin to speak, feeling all eyes on me as I clear my throat, sliding my hands into my pockets as I think for a moment, no words coming to mind as all I can think of is that now she is dead.
I slide my hands out of my pockets, making a wordless motion as I begin to speak of her faithful devotion.
The words that I speak are nothing if not the truth, as I remember back to our moments, our touches, our caresses, I wonder if we drank some kind of planned love potion.
I smile slowly speaking of the love she gave, trying to joke softly about how she took it to her grave.
Things are precious and they should be treasured, cherished and never forgotten, put them away, lock them up if you have to, do whatever must be done for them to be saved.
When it all started I kept waiting for the words to come along, almost like the magic words, Once upon a time.
Now that it’s over I realize that I was lucky enough to have this much love in a lifetime.