- Non-Erotic Poetry
- love's sum
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love's sum
there, so quietly beneath
the broad green leaves of spring
Virginia Blue Bells nod
in tiny clusters, first pink
then as they sing
their hues climb through
soft lavender, full of lung,
in gorgeous blue they bloom...
and he, inside, creating
formulae
the poetry
of all reality
awakened by
dedication to the
light that guides his
his studied mind...
I lean towards him
and he towards me,
lyric and music of our day
tied with bows,
arrays combined
and powered by
the love of our summation sign.
- COMMENTS
wakingDownalmost 9 years agoWell crafted and full of bright and clear imagery that brings the reader along through the view of love and togetherness in the blooming of spring. The first stanza really sets the tone and feel of the work very well.
greenmountaineeralmost 9 years agoAnother lovely one, SpringBreezes, particularly the first stanza, loaded with imagery and music. I like the way you use punctuation to create added pause. You usually don't see much of that in poems with short lines, but for some reason I'm still not sure about, it's effective here.
With words like "formulae," "reality," "guides," and "studied mind" emerging in the second stanza, I'm realizing this isn't going to a poem about just pretty flowers. My only quibble is lines 6&7 sounded clunky to me.
I wasn't quite sure that "he, inside" meshes well with "I lean towards him." The first stanza gave me the impression you were outside. If so, I'm not sure how the two of you reconnected. (Perhaps you were inside just looking outside the window?) This may seem trite to some readers, but for me I like the way you had him inside, apart from nature, and you (I may be reading too much into this) closer to nature, and "music of our day/tied with bows." I think a line, no more than two, of the movement of both lovers towards each other may have added something in the last stanza; maybe not.
Still, the last stanza is very clever, the way it brings things together. I really enjoyed reading the poem.
