Mad Science


(A poem on the hubris of playing God...
done in a badly faked Romanian accent)

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Click Here to listen. (2 min/mp3)

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Welcome, please step into my lab,
It's time for my next experiment!
Don't bother trying to stop me,
I'd still go through in any event!

Ah, my collection of specimens...
Bones, insects, pools of goo,
All preserved in formaldehyde,
And some stranger things too.

Want to help with my research?
You'll be my newest test subject!
You've already volunteered,
It's far too late to object!

I've invented a new machine,
Powered by an arc of lightning!
Surgical tools on the table,
It's all deliciously frightning!

Now where shall I begin?
Yes, let's replace that arm!
Bionic limbs made of steel,
Should do you no harm!

Now to open up your skull,
Put electrodes on your brain,
Severing nerves and synapses,
So you won't feel any pain!

Stomach, eyes, liver, lungs,
I'll replace each body part,
Stitch them back into place,
But I must take out the heart!

Let me get out the bone saw,
So I can amputate your head!
You want to scream out now,
But it's too late, you're dead!

I've studied under the best,
The famous Dr. Frankenstein,
All in the name of science,
So it's hardly a crime!


(This poem was in no way, shape or form inspired by the proliferation of 'mad scientist' villians in '50s sci-fi movies, but it is dedicated to them nonetheless)

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