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Click hereIn the cleft of a valley,
in a bower near a fountain
the soft water seeps
from the Maidenhead Spring.
An ancient magician
weary with wandering
called by the lure
of the Maidenhead Spring.
And in the month of September
in the infolding evening
the half mad magician
spied the Maidenhead Spring.
And down on his knees he fell
weeping and praying
and lapped at the waters
of the Maidenhead Spring.
And his tongue it slid over
where the lichen was dripping
in the pink crevice opening
of the Maidenhead Spring.
And the goddess enfolded him
in her exuberant wonder
and led him to tumble
in the Maidenhead Spring.
And in the dance of creation
this thirsting and slaking
the waters poured forth
from the Maidenhead Spring.
And will you not lie with me
in fields of creation
where lovers of laughter
share the Maidenhead Spring?
And will you not laugh with me
in the tumbles and furrows
in the deep-hearted burrows
of the Maidenhead Spring?
but too many "Ands" and overall kind of blah. I agree with erectus that if you put more exciting language in that last verse (what kind of metaphor for sex is "laugh"? it works but not well), you will amp up the whole poem.
Just my opinion and thanks for the read. :-)
some nice lines, a little long, concluding verses might be more orgasmic